still walking

another quiet week in worthing.

wednesday: we went walking across part of the south downs. deep joy! if you haven’t been there, no matter where you read this across the globe, then you must come to enjoy the moment. all four of us walked from cissbury to chantonbury - so pleasant, so tranquil. we even strayed up buddington’s bottom – how we enjoyed the crack. leo was intrigued to find evidence that sheep had got there before us. we wondered if buddington liked his vice versa.

who said climbing up hills is a struggle? not me. it’s the coming down. gravity is a very strange thing. i don’t like it much and feel we would be much better off without it. body screaming i remembered what my son told me. do it in zig-zags – it will take the strain off your knees. no it bloody doesn’t! it sends you off, hurtling helplessly towards the precipice with no obvious means of recovery. but we reached the bottom, slowly. very envious of buddington. he only had the sheep to contend with.

took the bus home. such a good idea we wondered why we hadn’t taken it in the first place. might retire my legs.

thursday: intend to paint the soffits. don’t ask – i don’t know either. never thought i’d see the day when i spent the day painting somebody who deceives people with clever-sounding but flawed arguments or explanations.

friday: hope to get my waggler out for the first time this year. looking forward to catching the first carp. sorry! what did you think i meant?

oh doctor i'm in trouble

another quiet week in worthing. to my amazement the strawberries seem to be thriving. i sing to them a lot. at first i worried that they couldn’t understand me. oh how they drooped out of their sad little apertures! but when i stopped the leonard cohen cheerful tunes they perked up remarkably. they seem to like jaunty little irish ditties best. i notice my neighbour has put his house up for sale. not sure i need to wear the balaclava.

went to the theatre this afternoon. excellent show - a “who done it” in the vatican. actually i'm not sure if anything was done at all; we needed cardinal colombo but alas he never appeared. however i was somewhat unnerved at having a real doctor who (the fourth one) sitting directly behind. you know the one. big chap, bushy black hair, long scarf. wanted to ask if they grew strawberries on gallifrey but discretion got the better of me. i had learned from the time i met chris eubank and told him he had given me a lot of pleasure over the years. still haven’t recovered!

i was disappointed the doctor didn’t have sarah with him. my first wife was disappointed it wasn’t the tenth doctor in the first place. too surreal. went home much amused thinking the first step is the tardis.

fandabidozi

another quiet day in worthing. sore heads after we celebrated late into the night in bosnia and herzegovina following our neighbour's success in the singing world cup. it is good that wee jimmy krankie has at last found international fame.

word gets around

another quiet day in worthing. thought there’d be lots to talk about following the curry and darts but alas, the curry passed (boy did it pass) and the darts flew. ephemeral is the word that springs to mind but not sure if that was the curry or the ointment. anyway it’s gone now and i don’t miss it.

to jolly our curry conversation along i made the mistake of mentioning my strawberries (again but for the last time i hope). amazingly everyone seemed to have heard about my tribulations and were willing to embark on their own adventures. peter now has an order for several dozen plants. they’ll all end in tiers and we’ll be on the curly kale next.

we’re an odd crowd – sort of last of the summer wine meets men behaving badly. we talk a lot and laugh a lot but mostly we try to remember what we talked and laughed about. do you know, when we were in france the other day, paul pointed out something he had never seen before; a satellite dish that faced down instead of up. how did that work? we were perplexed but impressed at french ingenuity. was it picking up aussie soaps or something from the underworld? or was someone watching us as we sat in the roadside bistro? no, it was a street light. oh how we laughed when realisation dawned. we came home to worthing much relieved.

not sure I can keep these daily bulletins up. do you realise how difficult it is to write about nothing? i will now wait for something interesting to happen. blimey......what was that noise?

fretting

another quiet day in worthing. worried myself silly about my earlier reference to the two strawberry planters - would they turnip on my doorstep? thankfully not yet!

anyway the strawberries are now planted. have you ever tried to plant things in a planter; hard to describe but it is a tallish pot with holes in the side for the fruit to grow out of. well it's not easy. how do you fill anything with holes in the side? if this works it will be a miracle.

don't fret, there will be more exciting news tomorrow. going for a lunchtime curry and it's darts in the evening. can't wait.

what day is it?

another quiet day in worthing. got my hair cut this morning - just off the ears and straight across the back. no idea what that means in terms of snipping bits off all parts of the cranium but the barber seemed to know and nodded knowingly. this always leaves me feeling quite satisfied, don’t know why! glad i didn't ask for a number one as some of my friends do - that must look awful on top of the head. went to b&q to get some grow bags. my mate peter gave me some little strawberries last week and said that's what they need so i did what he said. when i was there i also bought some petunias (wonder what they will look like - do they also need a grow bag?), two strawberry planters (earthenware things to put strawberry plants in, not two blokes.) and two tins of cuprinol. spent a fortune. if he hadn't given me the bloody strawberries i wouldn't have had either the expense or the additional work. friends – doh!

good old fry up for dinner. 2367 calories but it tasted great.

am i wise?

it seemed like a good idea to write a blog. lots of people do it and seem to enjoy it so why shouldn't I? my sons are very good at it - well they make me laugh. trouble is, at this moment, I don't have anything remotely interesting to say - so why bother? part of me says if i don't start now i never will. the other says i have to write a sentence that doesn't end with a question mark. another part (i have lots of parts - some work, some don't) seems to think i am incapable of being disciplined enough to keep this up. well i'd like to see if i can so if there are rotund walkers, decrepit gardeners, goofy golfers, pathetic painters or generally inebriated gentle-folk out there i hope i will write something moderately interesting for you. or if any younger folk wish to join in you are very welcome. as tom paxton said to me once (and to a few hundred others in the audience) "i still feel as young as i ever did but i seem to knock around with an older crowd". is that the way the world goes around?

just startin'

this is my first attempt at a blog - more to follow